k8

These past few weeks, I have been feeling so electric. Like the mere effort of stepping out my front door sweeps me away on a wave of kinetics and I hardly have to lift a finger to achieve a lifetime of momentum in the making.

Previously, I've felt hindered, low energy, stuck. This is an invigorating change.

What did I do this week? I opted out of routine. I saw Jonathan Richman at the backstage, skipped work to go to a workshop/seminar on white privilege, had a great time at a queer party, went on a trip to Seattle for a kink event, stole a toolbelt, bought mushrooms for whenever it snows next and... a partridge in a pear tree. Every time I did something different, I felt electric, completely in my element.

Previously, I only complained about being stuck but never tried to become unstuck. Now, I realize (rather sheepishly) how easy it is to get carried away in a current of activity if only I make the effort to go outside.

I still think that as long as I remain in Olympia, I will be a little bit stuck. My current goal is to apply to an internship in Oakland by the end of this year (25 days to go!), and if it all works out I hope to be down there by spring. I imagine I'll be there for at least three months, but I hope to find a niche that will allow me to stay there and experience things and live for years in other places. We'll see if that actually happens.

All I have to do now is tie up some loose ends with people - after all, there's only so much baggage I can take with me when I leave, and I'd prefer it to be just the physical kind. Yeah. I went there.


Good Fortune - my favorite song today. Oh PJ Harvey. Be my bestie plz.

Found this in the jobs section of Craigslist - sf bay area:
Fearless Chocolate seeks LEAD ENGINEER for new CHOCOLATE FACTORY (Oakland)

I am so there.

It's a little bit frustrating to wake up to sunny mornings, and not be able to go skinnydipping or reading in the park or napping on my porch. What I wouldn't give for a warm breeze these days.

Yesterday I woke up and, in the spirit of summer, let all the light into my house and danced around to Go Sailor for a long long time. Go Sailor is the quintessential summer music fun time band.



I think I may start riding my bike again soon, now that I have a removeable brace on my arm and am no longer on oxycontin/percocet/vicodin. This means I will probably end my brief relapse affair with cigarettes. Goodbye again, tobacco. Hello, sage and mullien (and flying down State Ave on a sunny day). Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

Good Sex Dr. Ruth Westheimer and guest Cyndi Lauper Part 1


Part 2


Reasons why this is awesome:
+Dr. Ruth has the most adorable little french woman voice
+Cyndi Lauper has the most adorable little Cyndi Lauper voice
+Dr. Ruth sings the lyrics to "She-Bop" in her little french woman voice (!!!)
+Cyndi Lauper talks about why she's a feminist
+They compliment one another's "snappy dressing", including Dr. Ruth's strangely Star Trek inspired powersuit
+Cyndi Lauper discusses trying to have sex for the first time... "when I was 16, all the guys were losing their you-know-what, and I thought why can't I? ...so one day we all went out on a picnic to the beach and I chased this guy... he was a real wise guy, so I chased him down the beach and told him it wouldn't hurt... he didn't want to do it with me, but I thought it was funny so I didn't stop chasing him on the beach... he was frightened and thought I was crazy."
+Dr. Ruth tries to get Cyndi Lauper to write a song about "safe contraceptives"
+The video itself is so delightfully 80s!

If I ever have kids, my ideal co-parenting team would be Cyndi Lauper, Xena Warrior Princess, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Serious.

Surgery today. In just four hours, my ultra sleek and powerful bionic arm will have been completed.

Halloween. I hotglued my costume together and it turned out fantastically, went to work, went downtown with no plans. Saw the Thriller dance, which was so much fun.

Displayed my whipping skills, which resulted in A LOT of free drinks.

But I still ended up home earlier than I wanted to. I'm so proud and in love with my liontamer/ringmaster outfit that I would just love to wear it all the time, every day.

Unfortunately, I have no pictures. Yet.

But I do have fond memories of running out into the middle of the road during breaks in traffic, performing a mash up of overhead cracks and body-wraps to much applause, and then telling every stranger who commented about my firm belief that every girl should learn how to use a whip by the age of 12.

Now wouldn't that make for a wonderful world?

Was it the three dirty vodka martinis on top of three dark&stormys that caused me to lose my balance?
Were my trusty, overworn green docs no match for the slippery pebbled concrete underneath my feet?
Was my belligerent drunken behavior spurred on by my dapper 20s gentleman persona? ("Call me Chaahlie Bixby, sugabutt!")
Was I really no match for Corey Smelser's awesome chestbumping power?

Did all of these factors somehow combine to create a perfect storm for the breaking of arms?

I remember was challenging Corey to a chestbump to demonstrate my sincere bromance for him. The next thing I knew I was on the ground, left wrist throbbing. When it didn't stop hurting twenty minutes later, a trip to the emergency room seemed only logical -- even in my drunken happy-go-lucky frame of mind.

I'm just glad I had the forethought to remove my fake mustache before I went to the hospital.


before painkillers


after painkillers

It only took a rather miraculous hour and fifteen minutes to be treated and on my way, and my sister, her girlfriend and I even made it down to Jakes in time for last call. Interesting fact: bloody marys mix wonderfully with vicoden.

Tomorrow I find out if I need to get surgery. I just hope this heals up quick, because there are only so many things I can do one-handed.

At least I have a great story to tell. All in all, I consider the Raging 20s party to be a grand success.

Tentative plans, so far:

Spend spring quarter in Cusco, Peru with my current program.

Sometime during the next year, write an independent contract to study abroad in Cuba - something I've been aspiring to do since I started at Evergreen.

Sometime before I graduate, intern with Food First for at least a full quarter. Which means I get to live in the Bay Area.

Although I am pretty anti-California, I would love to live/spend a little time in San Francisco. Home of some of my favorite dyke writers and in general, and it's been built up in my mind as a sort of queer holy land.





Since the beginning of this summer I've been struggling with trying to find a niche where all of the things that are integral to my personal identity, lifestyle, passions and aspirations intersect. Once I began to look, I began to feel isolated. Now, I am starving to find more people like me. I need that affirmation and validation.

I feel like I can only fulfill one part of me at any given moment, and each time I begin to pursue something in-depth, it takes me away from some other important part, which then aches for attention.




For now, though, I am feeling hopeful about my direction in school. Perhaps I just need to forgo having a personal life for a little while, give myself a kick in the ass, take advantage of my federal grants and travel, get some perspective and experience on the government's dollar. And maybe somewhere along the way I'll manage to find some other strange, vibrant community of funny intentional motivated radical self-aware punk-ass glitter-obsessed sex-positive flexitarian queer feminist Britney-Spears-advocates with workaholic tendencies, an incredible sense of humor, and a take-no-shit attitude toward life. Maybe I'll find that there are places in this world where those traits are normative, where I don't have to constantly explain myself or be tokenized.

Life really isn't all that bad, as is. But a girl can dream.

Now what?

In all likelihood, Amber and I have the swine flu. My friend went to the emergency room yesterday (no health insurance, she's not actually that sick) and tested positive for it, and she says she got it from me and my travel buddies when she picked us up from the airport. Which means that we contracted in in Las Vegas of all places. Figures.

I'm fine now, it was like a mild cold and now I'm almost over it and no longer contagious because I don't have a fever. It's just nice to have permission to sit around, sleep and read a lot.

In other news, Vegas was FUN but exhausting.

In other none news, I don't update this thing any more.

...my hair can add a good 3.5 inches to my total height. I'm short, I'll take what I can get.

I'm housesitting for the next eight days. It's kind of like being paid for going on vacation - this beautiful little house off Cooper Point, surrounded by woods, complete with its own hot tub. It's on its own septic and well, so it's almost completely off the grid, and has a sweet blackberry/blueberry patch nearby, within walking/biking distance of the beach. There's even a little kitten there to keep me company.

Although it has wireless internet, I'm thinking of leaving my laptop at home and just bringing lots of sewing projects, reading and crafts things out there.

Sounds like a perfect opportunity to detox, be by myself for a while, enjoy the last days of summer, take a break from people and technology - except for the four days I have to bike in to work.

Tonight after work, I think I will just sit in the hot tub with a glass of wine in the middle of nowhere and see if I can catch the last of the August meteor showers.